To discover that your partner is cheating on you is horrifying. After years of marriage, the vows that must have meant nothing, the promise of commitment that you had believed was mutual… It is truly a deeply upsetting situation to find yourself in. 

For many people, the only way forward following a cheating incident in their relationship is a divorce. You may try to work it out, but the feelings of hurt and betrayal may ultimately prove too much.

It’s not that you want a divorce, necessarily, but you might need it, if there is no way that you believe your relationship will be the same again. 

Why Does a Cheating Partner Not Want a Divorce?

What you might find confounding, then, is that when you put the suggestion for divorce on the table, your partner is very against the idea. Bizarrely, they want to stay together and try to make the marriage work. If you’re scratching your head about why your partner might not want a divorce after cheating, it might be that their reasoning falls into one of the below:

To Avoid Divorce Costs

A divorce can be a costly process, especially if a couple has been married for a long time, and there are all sorts of personal and physical factors to consider. If your partner is simply not in the financial situation to handle a divorce, they might suggest a separation instead.

Things get a little tricky when money comes into play. It’s certainly not practical in any sense to stay married for the sake of saving on divorce costs, but you may be limited to what you can do about it.

If you can, you need to sensibly discuss why you believe a divorce is necessary with your partner, and seek legal advice should you need it.

They Cannot Accept the New Circumstances

It can often be the case that one half of a couple has been cheating for so long that they have become comfortable with the situation they’ve created for themselves.

Perhaps the person your partner is cheating with sexually satisfies them, for example, while you offer the emotional support they greatly need.

If this is the case, your partner may actually feel frustrated that the situation will now have to change. This may lead them to attempt to keep your relationship alive simply because they still want the best of both worlds.

In the likely chance that you are unhappy with the way things currently stand, you might have to seek legal advice to help you through your situation.

They Realize Their Mistakes

Sometimes, it is not the physical act of cheating, but your discovery of your partner’s affair, that causes he or she to realize just what they were putting on the line when they chose to stray.

It might be that, when faced with the prospect of losing the relationship with you entirely, your partner can only now see just how valuable and meaningful it was.

If it is the case that your partner is in complete regret about their actions, and is desperate to make things work again, it’s your call. Should you be able to put aside your distrust and give the relationship another go, by all means, go for it.

But the unfortunate reality with cheating is that you may struggle to ever forgive your partner in the long-run. Whatever the circumstances of your partner’s cheating, and your subsequent desire for a divorce, there’s no reason to go through it alone.

Seek the help and support of your family and friends, and most importantly, call a lawyer. They can offer you the legal assistance you may require before, during and following on from your divorce.

They can offer you the legal assistance you may require before, during and following on from your divorce.

Continue Reading: I Think I Hate My Wife Should I Get a Divorce?